I'm sorry I've been absent.
Twitter has kidnapped me and has me living in its backyard in a tent city.
I pee in a bucket and wash my hair with rainwater, but at least I'm not chained to a box under a bed! Small blessings!
I don't know how to flip the video. I dn't have editing software at work, otherwise I'd just do it there.
Anywho. Chuck E. Cheese singing Men at Work creeps me out a lot.
I missed the Clutch show in Grand Rapids on New Years. That's okay because I had a killer New Years a home with Josh and Jude.
But part of me was secretly moping about it...boo hoo I want to see Neil. boo hoo I had to leave the last show early cos I messed up and didn't get babysitter arrangements far enough in advance...
So imagine my awesome surprise when HOLY MOLY Clutch is coming back, baby! Machine Shop in February.
I am not leaving this show early for any reason. other than emergency. Which won't happen.
BECAUSE I WILL KILL EVERYONE if i have to leave early.
Anyway. I was reading on the message boards about the show - looking up the trend of songs they're playing on this go around, whatever.
And I came across a really interesting board post about how people who push and punch to get to the front of the show halfway through the show are a bunch of a-holes. And then those people who do that started replying about how "it's a gen-admission show, you tool! You don't own the right to stand in the front!"
and now there's a big ol fight about who is right.
And you know, I don't know. I thought it was always just assumed that if you go up front during a hardcore show, that you're going to get knocked around. If you hang out by the pit, you're going to get whapped or even worse, pulled in by mistake.
There is the 'crush' that happens when a headliner comes on. I've been crushed at the morrissey concert when the folding chairs we were standing on all folded up at once and everyone sort of fell on each other. I had a bruise down the entire side of my leg for about a month and 1/2.
That's just the nature of the beast.
BUT. I still think people that punch and push and fight their way to the front when I've been standing there for an hour and 1/2 waiting patiently are a bunch of assholes and would love to just spit in their eyes.
I don't know what side to take on this fence. I knwo that I get extremely possessive of my spot and will not move for anyone. Even if that means i have to get knocked around a bit.
If i pick a spot, it's cos I can see the show. That's why I go to shows. I go to shows to watch the f'ing band and to listen to them play. Not to get drunk, stupid, rowdy, chat on my cell phone, talk to my friends, and mosh until I bleed.
Maybe I'm the dumb one?
Either way, I know where I'm standing on Feb. 22 and I'm not moving until Neil leaves the building.
I wonder if it's better to be standing up with the rioters, protesting social and personal injustice, or if it's better to keep your head down, quiet in the shadows remaining unseen and unheard. They can't destroy what they don't know is there.
Is it better to stand up and fight for a cause, rise up against the machine and fight it back to stand at the top of the mound of bodies and yell FREEDOM! from the depths of your lungs? Or to live and continue to exist day-to-day with your family underground quiet waiting for the day when you can come out and be free again - not immediately affected by fighting or bullets or pepper spray or Molotov cocktails or torture, but relatively comfortable (considering the circumstances).
Again, what's not seen and heard might as well not exist.
I don't know.
So, Clive wrote a letter
to me on his website addressing the fact that he is no longer able to personally respond to the mail he receives.
I will repost it here for posterity, but there was something that kind of bothered me about it.
It' was almost like he had a hidden note in it for me.
After some digging and cyphering and encryption tables and fail shut things and grep-pipe and trace routing the packet filter through the IDS and several other things I pick up from listening to Josh, I was able to decode the message.
My Dear Friends,
Over the past 20-plus years, it has been my pleasure to get to know many of you. But as I dive deeper into the Abarat books and paintings and of course, the projects at Seraphim, which continue to take flight, I have found it difficult to answer the hundreds of letters I receive. It¹s with immense regret that I'll no longer be able to reply personally to the mail sent to the PO Box in Los Angeles.
I must tell you that this decision has been very hard to take. I have received over the years so many moving and extraordinary letters, and I will miss the chance to answer them personally. But I only have so much time on the planet, and I hope you¹ll be happy with my choosing to spend more of it making stories and pictures for you.
There have been many occasions when letters from you have opened doors to friendships and creations that have changed my life. I don¹t want to lose that vital connection with you, the most important people in my life. Please continue to make contact through Phil and Sarah's website, and yes, if you like, through letters. I believe that when the forces in our lives need to put us together, they will.
The word 'love' is used a lot in our culture, often in irrelevant places. But I want to send my love to you now, even though I don't know you by name. You know all of me - heart and soul - and it¹s an honor and joy to make work that gives you pleasure. I promise to keep doing it.
My love to you,
So, there you have it! Clive loves me, like I knew it all along.
Thank god I pay attention when Josh talks about work otherwise I wouldn't have known how to find out about Clive's true intentions!V
Top ten albums I can listen to on repeat:
Janes Addiction - Nothing's Shocking
Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream
Possum Dixon - Possum Dixon
VNV Nation - Empires
Clutch - Robot Hive/Exodus
Metallica - And Justice for All
The Misfits - American Psycho
Peter Murphy - Holy Smoke
Morrissey - Bona Drag
Gene - Olympian
Weezer - Pinkerton
Neds Atomic Dustbin - Godfodder
Anthrax - State of Euphoria
Thanks for serving. My words will never do justice to how proud I am of you and all that you do for our family. Thank you for being my dad.
I'm actually crying.
Sitting here, watching this, crying.
I see Barak and his wife Michelle, together, and I cry some more. The love and the strength they draw from each other is so evident, and that's what gives me hope most of all. The power of family and love is great.
Just wow, man.
I want to wake up Jude and tell him how important this moment is. 40 years ago, black people couldn't even eat at the same restaurant as white people, and now we have a black president. I am so proud to be a part of this moment right now, right here.
I am so glad to know that I voted and that maybe I made a difference. I know many, many people who were like "meh" about voting, and that breaks my heart because whether you liked McCain or Obama, voting is a privilege and an honor. To not take advantage of that, baffles my mind. Why would you want to throw that right away? However, now that Obama is president, I am a part of this history, and that's something - a sense of pride and duty and honor and joy and hope - I'll take to my grave.
CNN has the list on the sides of the screen - how many states McCain won vs. how many states Obama won. It seems like there are more states for McCain, and that does confuse me - I know it's based on population and whatnot, not how many states you win, but how many votes each state represents or whatever....it still is hard to wrap my mind around that that many more states prefer McCain over Obama, but it doesn't matter at this point.
A good, good man won and is our president. I couldn't be more happy if Theodore Roosevelt himself was in office...and that's saying a lot.